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Joke of the Day

"Why do they play this music on the elevators if we're not suppose to slow dance:)"

"I used to play water polo But I had to stop when my horse drowned"

"[interview for fireman] ""So why do you think you're a good fireman?"" I lit the building on fire ""What?"" Now watch as I try to put it out"

"""SZA"" would be the perfect name for a lesbian member of the Wu Tang Clan"

"I say 'tomato', you say 'put your hands where I can see them and exit the vehicle slowly' ."

"On the fifth day to election, the public gave to me... Five Gallup polls Four awful choices Three Trump Steaks Two more WikiLeaks And a cache of Clinton emails!"

"HIM: My new girlfriend's name is ""Bella"". That means ""Beautiful"" in Italian. ME: It also means ""War"" in Latin...so good luck with that."

"Why do we call it toilet paper? Does anyone wipe their toilet with it?"

"How does Harry Potter get down a hill? By running. J.K! Rowling."

"So Halloween is fast approaching... Where I can get one of those cool Guy Fieri masks that all the anarchists are wearing?"