147556

Joke of the Day

"How does Harry Potter get down a hill? By running. J.K! Rowling."

"Kate who dumped me at junior school now wants me to like her interior decorating Facebook page. How the tables have turned Kate."

"Success is just like being pregnant."

"Whats black and screams? Stevie wonder answering the iron!"

"Why was the motorcycle going so slow? Because it was two tired!"

"Please take selfies. There are enough pictures of sunsets and airplane wings. Your face is more interesting."

"The Road Runner is a pretentious, cocky fucking asshole and deserves to be eaten. Beep beep that shit, motherfucker."

"If you slept with my husband I'd be like ""OMG how much do I owe you?"""

"""No thanks, I filled up on breadsticks."" - Eve to the Serpent in the Olive Garden of Eden"

"5yo: if superman & batman had a big fight, superman could throw him into space where he'd suffocate'. I'm raising a problem solver you guys."