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Joke of the Day

"Two words that would mean the end of Twitter - Miley Bieber."

"Where is the Pokemon? Peek-a-chu!"

"Did you hear about the award winning scarecrow? He was out standing in his field."

"Boss: Are you high? Me: You and I both know that I don't make enough money to have a drug habit."

"Why is there so much segregation today? All Fridays Matter"

"If you are afraid of pedophiles... ...Grow up!"

"The U.K. Summarized in two sentences. ""No Scotland, you cannot leave the UK."" ""Hey Scotland, let's leave the EU."""

"Offered the kids $5 to clean so they could learn about money and then didn't pay them so they could learn about randomly trusting people."

"Given the American diet, don't you think we'd have greater success locating missing children if we put their faces on liters of soda?"

"I overheard my wife singing in the shower. ""You should go on America's Got Talent,"" I told her. ""I can't sing,"" she replied. I said, ""Exactly."""