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Joke of the Day

"I heard that John Cena had a failed porn career... Every time they tried to do the money shot nobody could see him coming."

"What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? They've both swallowed a lot of seamen."

"My mother asked me to clean the dishes... ""Ah."" I replied, ""The reason you decided to have children; it's becoming apparent."" Also, ITT: God-tier puns."

"Man goes to a restaurant Sits down at a table by himself and places a calender in front of him. The waiter ask why the calendar? Man replies ""I didn't want to be alone so I brought some dates"""

"A girl at my high school got kicked out of the Future Farmers of America (FFA)... She couldn't keep her calves together."

"Two cannibals were eating a clown.... One turns to the other and asks, ""Hey, does this taste funny to you?"""

"Do dogs know about light switches? Or do they think we all just have personalities that literally light up a room?"

"You're so fat that your husband rolled over after sex, rolled over again and was STILL on top of you."

"Why did the farmer fence in the bull? The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!"

"*stands over dads casket* ""Mom isn't doing well, dad."" *puts hand on dad's shoulder* ""You need to stop building caskets. It's creepy."""