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Joke of the Day

"Just a heads up guys, M. Night Shyamalan dug a hole in my backyard and has been filming Mark Wahlberg yelling at it for 6 months now."

"Jet Fuel can't melt Ellen Pao [User was banned for this post]"

"Putin me on that list."

"I haven't found cancer jokes funny since.. my grandfather got killed by a giant crab."

"Our perfume store is finally going out of business... I guess it just makes scents.Nobody nose about us."

"Roses are brown, Violets are brown.. Who the fuck took a shit in my garden?"

"What did quantum consciousness say to its son? Your awareness differentiates to the expansion of experiences and freedom impacts the expression of the phenomena in reality to quantum belonging."

"What do you call a woman who fell off a cliff? Eileen Dover..."

"What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack!* ""Fuck!"" A skydiver goes ""Fuck!"" *whack!*"

"When I die I want my tombstone to read, ""Did stuff""."