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Joke of the Day

"I'm not kidding Santa is waiting outside my house til it's ""late enough"" to go down my chimney"

"I'm no mathlete, but I CAN tell you that a 6 y/o running at 8 mph chasing an ice cream truck moving at 10 mph flies 7.4 ft if you trip him."

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair ? Virgin Mobile"

"Helium walks into a bar... and the barman says 'sorry we don't serve noble gasses in here'. However Helium doesn't react."

"Why are Jewish men circumcised? Cause Jewish women won't take anything unless its 10% off."

"Rude limerick anyone? There was a man from Leeds who swallowed a packet of seeds. Great tufts of grass grew out of his arse, and his balls were infested with weeds."

"Must spend less time with my dogs. Haven't bitten the mailman yet but I am starting to circle three times before sitting down."

"My Dad voted Republican his entire life. After he died he voted Democrat"

"How do you stop an Albanian tank? You shoot the guy pushing it."

"What do you call in-flight pilot training? Air conditioning."