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Joke of the Day
"Why did the little tugboat do what all of the other tugboats told him to do? Pier pressure"
Next Joke
"No thanks, Winter Olympics. If I wanted to see a bunch of white people playing in the snow, I'd hop on over to Facebook."
"You can't change a person unless they wear adult diapers"
"Which street fighter is the least amicable? The ryudest one!!"
"Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? Because the ref was blowing a foul."
"What did the candle say when he was down on his luck? I'm at wick's end."
"Why do we have 52,455,865 pictures of Grandma? -my future grandchildren probably"
"[after raking leaves into a pile on my lawn] ME: ah, perfect. these leaves are all tidy and there is nothing that can change this"
"Undertaker: ""What do you want your husbands gravestone to say?"" Wife: ""Nothing. I want a traditional, non-talking one."""
"I watched somebody tell a dad joke in slow motion. It was even funnier because the slow-mo made him look drunk. Finally, a relevant dad joke."