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Joke of the Day

"Conveniently, the sound from their early Saturday morning lawn mowers covers the noise of my sniper rifle."

"Are you ignorant or apathetic ? I don't know, and I don't care..."

"Why did Kirk and Spock march into the woman's restroom? They were boldly going where no man has gone before"

"Just burned 2000 calories That's the last time I'll leave brownies in the oven while I nap"

"Sorry I mispronounced your baby's name you made up."

"How many Redditors does it take to change a lightbulb? About 8000"

"WHAT DO WE WANT? The ability to ask different questions WHAT DO WE WANT? See this is what we were talking about"

"I was in denial until her wake... But then I saw her face... now I'm a bereaver"

"I tried on a Trojan Magnum...its really hard to breathe in those things."

"'Jesus loves you' means one thing in general society. And something completely different in prison."