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Joke of the Day
"My friends laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian... Well they're not laughing now"
Next Joke
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Acid ! Acid who ? Acidently on purpose !"
"A Paladin takes his car to a mechanic. ""Whenever I'm driving, I get these strange urges to run over pedestrians."" The mechanic has a look under the car. ""Your alignment is off."""
"What kind of Pokemon hides in the bushes outside of delis? Peek-a-Jew"
"Twitter is an amazing source of useful information, the way a haystack is an amazing source of needles."
"""Can I have a pound of onions please."" ""Sorry sir, it's kilos these days."" ""oh, ok, can I have a pound of kilos please."""
"me: *turns around in swivel chair* *tents fingers* I guess you never expected to see ME again... Boss: Must we do this every Monday?"
"If you're waiting on me to 'get ready' I'm probably just spending 20 minutes trying to get my hoodie strings the same length."
"How do you call a black guy that uses testosterone boosters? Testostyrone."
"What's the difference between a scout boy and a jew? The scout boy comes home from camp."