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Joke of the Day

"I don't get * Why my son is so disappointed this christmas * He didn't get any presents last year either"

"Hang on guys. My boyfriend told me not to be anxious, so I expect to feel better any moment."

"Q: What do you get if you cross a skunk with a boomerang? A: A nasty smell that you can't get rid of."

"I had a near miss on my a flight to Thailand. Well a pre-op Transsexual."

"I cooked a live Lobster in the microwave and now I have a giant mutant lobster in my living room demanding to watch The Little Mermaid."

"me: so what, you're gonna be angry at me for the rest of your life wife: no, the rest of yours"

"There are 10 types of people. Ones who understand binary, and ones that don't."

"*me holding a human baby* i think this cat is broken"

"How bad is the economy? Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs."

"I heard a crazy train engineer in Mexico killed a bunch of people last week. Yeah. He had a loco motive."