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Joke of the Day

"I never know what to do with my hands during pictures, so I get it gang members, I totally get it."

"What do you get when you cross a weasel with a whale? A reprimand from the Scientific Ethics and Integrity Committee and an immediate withdrawal of your grant funding."

"Deep in the black void where my heart once beat, there lies a small, glowing ember-- oh wait no that's a Cheeto."

"Whats the difference between the FAA and a jet engine? The engine stops whining after the plane lands."

"If any of my jokes or status have offended you, I am truly sorry......... that you're such a pu$$y......."

"what did the router say to the doctor? It hertz when IP."

"What's the best way to attract a pervert? The NSFW tag, you freak"

"You know why Santa Claus doesn't have any children? Because he only comes once a year and that's down a chimney."

"I know it's normal to be naked in front of your doctor, but I still get really self-conscious every time I go to the optometrist"

"What happens when you are banned on a muslim server? you are turbanned"