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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a magical dog? Labracadabrador!!!"

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? Nobody ever wants to borrow my hippo :-("

"Q: why you can't smoke weed with Mexicans A: Because when you ask them for papers they run away"

"A mushroom walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""We don't serve vegetables!"" The mushroom responds, ""But I'm a fungi!!"""

"This chic on Facebook said she ran 17 miles yesterday. Where I live the police would have gave up after like, IDK, 6 miles maybe."

"I'm smart but not ""know when to stop eating"" smart."

"Father's Day is a great time to give your father a tie so he can look extra nice at the job he settled for because you were born."

"Why did Bill Clinton cross the road? Because his dick was stuck in the chicken."

"Next wedding Im saying its a open bar but when u get there its going to be cash.Just b/c its a 3rd wedding doesnt mean u can skip it slacker"

"Your inspirational tweets were so inspiring they inspired me to unfollow you."