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Joke of the Day

"Jesus hands his iPhone to da Vinci, ""hey can you get one of me and my best buds? thanks man! HEY EVERYONE GET ON THE SAME SIDE OF THE TABLE"""

"Congratulations to Amy Winehouse... ...on six months of sobriety."

"What do you call someone who like massages but hates women? A massagynist"

"Why did Regina George's dog only play keep-away? because fetch is not going to happen."

"""How fast can you hack into the system!?"" ""20-25 minutes."" ""You've got 10 minutes!"" ""Okay, well then I can't."" - real life spy dialogues"

"[cats at shelter] Where's Frank? ""Got adopted 3 weeks ago. Gone soft too. Healthcare plan. Hypoallergenic blanket. Goes by Mr. Boots now."""

"Prof asked if anyone liked comic books. I raised my hand. She didnt add anything or say why it mattered. Just wanted to isolate me socially."

"Why did the condom fly across the room? Because it was pissed off. (Also sorry)"

"Books keep falling on my head.... I've only got myshelf to blame"

"A Magician was driving down the street. Then he turn into a driveway."