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Joke of the Day
"Did you blow Bubbles when you were a child? Because I saw Bubbles today and he wanted your number."
Next Joke
"I once watched two guys arguing in sign language. Either that, or they were both really bad at martial arts."
"I think I must have a leather allergy because whenever I wake up with my shoes on I have a headache."
"Knock, knock. ""Who's there?"" [Doctor](http://images.amcnetworks.com/bbcamerica.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/18/files/2013/08/Doctorwho_50th-anniversary-thumbnail_01.jpg)."
"A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst."
"I have a fear of speed bumps But I am slowly getting over it"
"What's red and silly? A blood clot."
"Woman: When my husband died... ...his dying wish was to be liquidised into perfume. Friend: It's so sad that he's gone. Woman: Well he's still here in essence."
"[In Club] *slides up to girl on dance floor ""This is my jam"" *hands her a jar ""I wrote my number on the label. Text me if you want more..."""
"I gave up cursing for lent The next day I went over to confession and told my priest, ""I hope I don't fuck this shit up."""