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Joke of the Day

"A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst."

"Me: Choose a mate who loves & respects their mom, but isn't overly dependent on her. Lady: These are 4th graders- Me: THEY NEED TO KNOW THIS"

"What do nerdy mermaids wear? Algae-bras"

"Are you having trouble finding your kids' name's on bottles of Coca Cola? Then I bet you wish you'd given them proper names instead of thinking you were clever by calling them Lake and Destiny."

"So, a cheerleader walks into a Starbucks... and shouts, ""gimme a tea!"""

"Nuts. Two peanuts went for a walk in the park,one was a salted."

"Women are like convertibles. They're a lot more fun when the top's down."

"How much do pirates charge for piercings? A buck an ear."

"What did the necrophiliacs girlfriend say before going bowling?"

"PILOT OVER INTERCOM: I have some bad news, but before I tell you, keep in mind that the Wright bros could only stay airborne for 12 seconds"