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Joke of the Day

"Watch out for the bandit stealing and shredding newspapers. It's breaking news."

"If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner it's usually about 90 degrees."

"A poet once gave a pigeon helium, and invented high coo."

"I made my wife dinner tonight She was great with BBQ sauce"

"I have a stalker now and it's super creepy. She shows up wherever I go... her house, her job, the women's restroom. I don't know what to do."

"Sorry I looked completely surprised that your baby didn't burst into flames when I chanted The Power Of Christ Compels You."

"""Tell me about yourself"" Well, I'm a Canadian- ""Oh yeah? Tell me a joke funnyman"""

"Why was 7 arrested for homicide? Because somebody divided 14 into 2 and he was the prime suspect"

"""Knock Knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Control Freak"" ""Con"" ""Okay, now you say, ""Control Freak who?"""""

"I can't believe it's Christmas eve eve eve and they're making me work."