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Joke of the Day

"""Knock Knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Control Freak"" ""Con"" ""Okay, now you say, ""Control Freak who?"""""

"In 1976, my friend asked me when's the last time I had sex... I replied, ""1950"" He responded, ""that's a long time ago.."" And I said, ""not really, it's only 2150 now."""

"I opened my front door this morning to find a large black coffin. I gave him a pack of Lockets and told him to fuck off."

"What did the pony say to the doctor when he had a sore throat? I'm a little hoarse."

"me: ""i re-wrote pulp fiction"" director: ""wow ok"" [reads script] ""this is literally just pulp fiction"" me: ""i didnt say it was different"""

"(bad joke) What's the best vegetable for stepping on when you get out of the shower? A toe-mat-o."

"Why was a guy arrested for peeing on Indian land? He was on a Nipissing reserve."

"Honey, the broken condoms are on the couch again. I thought we were calling the kids by their names now dear."

"Did you hear about the man who died at the spaghetti factory? He's with the angel hair now."

"Say something soft and sweet to me. Dracula: Marshmallows chocolate fudge cake..."