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Joke of the Day

"Where is the best place to screw a Mt. Goat? The edge of a cliff, you are guaranteed she will push back!"

"Boys go to Mars to get more candy bars. Girls go to Venus to get more penis."

"My kid wants pizza without the crust AND a side of breadsticks. It appears I've given birth to everything that's wrong with America."

"Using Twitter for business is like buying ad space over a urinal."

"How many dubstep fans does it take to wash a car? One hundred and one. Two to wash it, one to dry it, and ninety eight to talk about how dirty it was."

"Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?"

"What was the last thing that the homeless man heard before becoming a giant? Go big or go home"

"I'm a Mexican with a black belt Call me Juan Punch"

"What do they call a whore's fart? A Prosti-Toot"

"I got expelled from school on pajama day. It's not my fault I sleep naked."