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Joke of the Day

"Priest: Do you read to your kids from the Good Book? Me: Every night Priest: What's their favorite part? Me: When Frodo destroys the ring"

"What do you call a surgeon who graduated last in his class? Doctor"

"You never hear skinny people saying, ""I'm just small boned."""

"After a few days without my phone, I've learned what's really important in life. My phone."

"He died doing what he loved, my now ex-wife"

"What makes teaching gender studies so great ? ready pool of girls with daddy issues"

"TIFU by asking a chinese girl's number... I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She replied, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 6663629."""

"Who wears a red suit and knows if you were naughty or nice? My boner, during my girlfriends period."

"How many Karma whores does it take to screw on a lightbulb? When this reaches 500 upvotes I'll tell you."

"I just watched two mice screwing in a lightbulb But for the life of me, I can't figure out how they got in there."