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Joke of the Day

"An xbox and a ps4 were attacked .. here comes the ambulance WII U WII U WII U"

"When rapping in my car, I hold my phone to my ear so passersby think I'm on an intense business call."

"Where does an angry pirate get sent? Anchor Management"

"Monica Lewinsky released a statement on Hillary Clinton's run for president ""I will not vote for Hillary,"" she said. ""The last Clinton president left a bad taste in my mouth."""

"duh. Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red? A: So they can hide in cherry trees. Q: Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree before? A: No? See, it works!"

"Arnold Schwarzenegger and windows 10 Just after windows 10 was released, Arnold was asked if he was ever going to upgrade to windows 10. His response? 'I still love Vista, baby.'"

"He leans in, looks into my eyes, and lowers the lights. I go in for the kiss. And now I'm being escorted out of the opticians."

"I like dead baby jokes as much as the next guy But sometimes you have to abort"

"I'm on the steak diet. You just have four steaks for breakfast, four for lunch, then a sensible dinner of six steaks."

"[God making trees] God: ""They're alive but not. Every now & then they drop food."" Angel: ""I don't--"" God: ""Also they breathe the opposite."""