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Joke of the Day
"A guy said to his friends ""you are all nuts"" They replied ""we know, we are healthy"""
Next Joke
"My cat just started kneading my back in bed and I said ""not now"" so wish us luck we're officially married."
"I would like to be a zombie because when someone asked me if I had a boyfriend I could just eat them."
"How do you make a song better using cement? By remixing it."
"Why do you duct tape guinea pigs? So they don't burst when you fuck them"
"If you love something, set it free. If it returns, it probably can't pay its student loans."
"Life is like a box of chocolates. They're cheaper the day after Valentine's Day."
"What?s orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot"
"Why did the chicken cross the road with a knife? Because it saw Lena Dunham on the other side."
"PEDIATRICIAN: This could sting a little. KID: Okay. PEDIATRICIAN: One day the sun will envelope the earth and we will all turn to dust."