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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like quality agronomy soil... ..good penetration to 8"", bare surface, and minimal crust."

"WELL IF BEING DISCHARGED FROM THE HOSPITAL ISNT THE BEST TIME TO ASK ABOUT A THREESOME THEN IM FRESH OUT OF IDEAS"

"[girl's night out] WIFE: I'm off then ME: Okay WIFE: Don't do anything obtuse ME: Pfft - give me a break! {5 min later} ME *googling obtuse*"

"Walmart greeter smiled at me. Long story short, the weddings Friday. Everyone's invited. Except Harold. HE said I'd NEVER find true love."

"What's green and empty? Orville's arsehole"

"Spell mousetrap with three letters. C-A-T"

"What do you call a rapper who's feeling bitter? NaClmore"

"Two types of people There are two types of people in this world: those that can extrapolate from incomplete data"

"Finally cleaned out the fridge to make meal planning easier. Tonight, we're having buttered olives with mustard and baking soda."

"What is 6.9? A good time ruined by a period."