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Joke of the Day
"I love u it's my favourite vowel"
Next Joke
"Episodes 4, 5, and 6 of Star Wars came before episodes 1, 2, and 3... ...because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was."
"Dictators make great rulers... if you make a bunch of one centimeter marks on them while they're asleep."
"Why did the boxer sprinkle cocaine on his exercise rope? He wanted to practice the rope-a-dope."
"How do you make an octopus laugh? By giving it ten tickles *badumts*"
"Wife holding bank statement: What's this payment? Me: we're sponsoring a panda! W: so is this monthly? M: No, it's just for the one skydive"
"I maintain a lifelong grudge against anyone at a restaurant who orders after me yet gets their food before me."
"Sure, your app can send me push notifications. Just give me your home number so I can call you to let you know I got them."
"A man walks into a seafood shop carrying a trout under his arm. ""do you make fish cakes?"" ""Yes we do"" replies the fishmonger... ""Great"" says the man, it's his birthday"""
"Who cares about throwing stones? How do people in glass houses hide when somebody knocks on the door?"