151273

Joke of the Day

"You gotta randomly lift your girl in the air, just to let her know you could throw her off a balcony if her phone ever went off after 11 PM."

"When someone's ignoring me I like to break into their house at night and steal all their shoes. We'll see how busy you are tomorrow."

"After giving up crack, I've been sniffing brake fluid for months. It's okay - I can stop anytime I want."

"How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach? Well, it's not hard."

"A man walk into a bar and he said ""oww"""

"What's the mating call for a University of Alabama student? ""I'm soo ddrrrruunnkk!"""

"Guy asked me where I got my green eyes. Great! Now I have to explain what the Vikings did when they got to Sicily."

"Duck jokes really quack me up."

"If you look at the number of mosques there are in London.... If you look at the number of mosques there are in London you can only come to one conclusion: Jesus is **** at Monopoly."

"I'm terrified That I might be a hypochondriac"