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Joke of the Day

"My Years in a Lunatic Asylum by I. M. Nutty"

"The sound of thunder is no longer Thor's hammer. It's a pissed-off Lady-Thor stomping round Asgard and noisily filling the dishwasher while she waits for someone to ask her what's wrong..."

"What's the difference between black people and cancer? Cancer got Jobs"

"Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? She missed."

"Pokemon Go is just like Grindr... but for kids. And you try and catch Pokemon instead of catching AIDS."

"Why could Joseph never get anything done? Because he was always Stalin.."

"Me: I bet you die before you figure out how to text me back. *3 years later* Grandma: Fuck you bitch. Say bye to your inheritance"

"I think Trump will be a great president Just had to put my two Pence in there"

"What do you cal a Deaf and Mute person? It doesn't matter. He's not going to come."

"By the nervous look on his face I thought my boyfriend had an engagement ring hidden in his hand but it was just a stranger's bra. Whew."