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Joke of the Day

"The Night's Watch can ramp up the number of new recruits by... ...ditching its archaic name in favour of something hip like Snow Patrol."

"A website where low life fat virgins go. www.reddit.com"

"barber 1: ugh this guy again, youre doing him this time [20mins later] barber 2: you coulda told me he turns around to answer every question"

"Old people talk into cell phones like they hit the Caps Lock key on their voice."

"How many mexicans do you need to screw a lightbulb? Juan"

"Why can't lesbians have sex at concerts? Because rock beats scissors."

"Behind every entitled shit-head kid is a parent who cuts the crusts off their sandwiches."

"An argument with my wife is like the gas pedal on a Prius. I can put my foot down, but I don't really expect much to happen..."

"A Halloween Limerick A lady vampire named Mable Had a period that was awfully stable. So once a full moon She took out her spoon And drank herself under the table."

"I heard a woman got hit by a motorcyclist the other day... It made me wonder, who the fuck rides a motorcycle into someone's kitchen?"