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Joke of the Day

"Capt of Titanic: ""Mayday! We are sinking"" Coastguard: ""What happened?"" *Cthulhu makes throat-slit gesture with tentacle* Capt: ""Iceberg"""

"Pizza is my second favourite thing to eat in bed... First favourite is cake."

"Doctor: Are you on any antidepressants? Me: You mean like nachos? Yes."

"Did you hear about the Jewish doctor who gave a patient six months to live? When the patient couldn't pay the doctor gave him another six months."

"how many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh TEN TICKLES AHAHAHHAHAHAHA this is my favorite joke"

"*knock knock* ""Are you a Jehovah's Witness""?"

"What did the pirate say to the prostitute? Thar she blows!"

"So i was talking to my friend who's a dyslexic philosopher And he says to me ""You know what, recently i've been wondering if there really is a dog"""

"What did the Jewish father say when his daughter asked for fifty bucks? What are you going to spend forty dollars on, I mean really why do you need thirty dollars?"

"The Suicide Hotline is Unbearable They always leave people hanging."