152248

Joke of the Day

"Do you ever wake up, look yourself in the mirror and say, ""My God, I look like a pillow"" ? If so, that's not a mirror - it's your pillow."

"Two Helium atoms were acting funny HeHe"

"So I go in for my physical... And the doctor says ""I need a semen, stool, and urine sample."" I say ""Gee doc, I'm in a big hurry. Can I just leave my underwear?"" *Taken from Bill Paxton in Predator 2.*"

"Here's a joke about North Korea [This post has been removed by the North Korean Government]"

"Did you guys hear about gay 9/11? Never faget."

"JOB INTERVIEWER: So what are your biggest weaknesses? HE-MAN: Well, I- *job interviewer's fake mustache falls off and it's Skeletor*"

"When I see a car with a Romney bumper sticker driving near a car with an Obama sticker I want them to turn into transformers & battle"

"The more Twitter tells me it's over Capacity, the more I think Twitter still loves Capacity and regularly sits outside her house, weeping."

"At first i was feeling a little grumpy, Then I was feeling happy, then a little sleepy and finally a little bashful. I am no longer welcome at my daughters school play of Snow white and the 7 dwarfs"

"[OC] Why Did the Paradox Cross the road? Because it didn't."