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Joke of the Day

"Boy to his Girlfriend: Can you tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time.... Girl: You have the largest penis among your friends."

"When is a door not a door? When it's a jar!"

"What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!, I'm gay."

"I'm so broke this chrismas... I'm just going to wrap batteries with a note that says ^*s ^ ^"

"At what time does a dentist have the most business? Tooth-hurty"

"As a customs officer, I don't always agree with people... ...but I see where they come from."

"What award did the kid in a coma for six weeks win? Atrophy."

"I really wish my coworker would stop asking me so many god damn work related questions while I'm staring at my phone"

"What do you call someone who tops Darth Vader during sex? An Invader."

"I tell people I'm narcoleptic so if I fall asleep when they're talking to me I don't seem rude."