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Joke of the Day

"ME: My dog's so happy I'm working from home. DOG (to camera): Honestly, a heads up would have been nice. I had shit planned today."

"I just got a part in the movie Cocaine It only has one line."

"Never cry for an onion that doesn't deserve you."

"life is like a box of chocolates: it kills dogs"

"That uncomfortable feeling when... You're at the doctors office getting your prostate checked and notice both of the doctor's hands on the table next to yours."

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly a dick up a butt."

"A bear and a rabbit are pooping in the woods The bear asks the rabbit - ""do you have a problem with poop sticking to your fur?"" ""Nope"" So the bear wipes his butt with the rabbit."

"What do you have when you get 32 rednecks in a line? A full set of teeth"

"I always go the extra mile at work. That's why I'm a terrible taxi driver."

"Crayola is now doing its color testing on manatees and peta is pissed. Oh The Hue Manatee!"