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Joke of the Day

"look. alls I'm saying is, with that many extremist in one single location, we'd be crazy NOT to take the X-Games to the Middle East. what?"

"My neighbours love so much the music I listen to all day They even called the police to hear it, too...!!"

"Argon walks into a bar The bartender kicks him out. Argon doesn't react."

"What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven."

"Why aren't eagles allowed to be sick in america? Because that would be illeagle"

"OMG you guys! Almost hit a jogger while i was taking a selfie and driving today...so please you guys, be careful, do NOT jog."

"We don't allow faster-than-light neutrinos in here, says the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar."

"For every chick that's crying about no good guys out there...there's a dude she's ignoring that's good to her."

"Ever since the news came out about Samsung.... Their phones have been blowing up."

"GF: You cant keep it. ME: But- G: Its a BEE. M: HES my FRIEND! G: Hand him over. M: No! [tearing up] I wont let you hurt Albuzz Bumbledore!"