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Joke of the Day

"Wow, I must look really hot tonight working out, everyone is totally staring at me. *walking on treadmill with a candy bar and a Pepsi"

"What's the worst part about fuckin terrorists? Their hairy assholes..."

"Dear hot girls who complain about how men fawn over you, I've got great news: In 20 years, no one will give a fcuk about you. You'll love it"

" . The joke does not translate."

"TIL: The Flintstones is actually quite controversial in Saudi Arabia, because Dubai really doesn't like it... But Abu Dhabi do!"

"So I'm making a TV series about a plane hijacking.. We've just shot the pilot."

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster and a hooker with diarrhea? You shuck the oyster between fits."

"A panic attack is hearing your teens laughing in another room at the same time you can't find your phone."

"(Blows you a kiss with chip crumbs hitting your face)"

"""Darling, can I go out in this dress?"" ""Yes dear, it's already dark out."""