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Joke of the Day
"If H2O is inside a fire hydrant, what's outside of it? K9P"
Next Joke
"My kids use all the toilet paper, dictate when I sleep and eat, and destroy everything I own. My house is its own little communist country."
"Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms."
"If god can artificially inseminate someone, why did he need two of every animal on the ark to repopulate the world?"
"An anatomical original Thought you'd like a pun. What sound does a pigeon make when kicked in the nuts? [A high coo](/spoiler)"
"What's the difference between a microwave and anal sex? A microwave doesn't brown your meat"
"INTERVIEWER:How good are your public speaking skills? ME:*from behind a tall plant in the office, I throw a piece of paper saying 'Decent'*"
"a 3 year old is a lot like bill cosby When you Wake up from a nap and they're naked, doing a bunch of shit you dont like"
"""any questions for Mr. deGrasse Tyson?"" [I knock over an old woman while sprinting to the mic] HOW DOES AIR CONDITIONING WORK IN SPACE?"
"Everyone wants a bigger house until you have to dust Now I'm dreaming of a one room shanty inside a bubble"