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Joke of the Day

"a 3 year old is a lot like bill cosby When you Wake up from a nap and they're naked, doing a bunch of shit you dont like"

"seven swans to rule them all, six geese to find them, five gold rings to bring them all, and in the pear tree bind them"

"I learnt that Mel Gibson was born in Australia Well I guess you could say he was from... -puts on glasses- MELBOURNE"

"I was in a gang once. We wore blue, traveled in packs, and ruled our turf with shiny instruments...wait. Band. I was in the marching band."

"A bear and rabbit take a shit together The bear says ""dont you hate it when you got shit on your fur?"" ""Not at all"" says the rabbit Then,the bear wipes his butt with the rabbit"

"Mother Banana: Why didn't you go to school today? Little Banana: Because I didn't peel well."

"It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end."

"*watching an old Lassie show Me: How come you can't do those things? Dog (mutters): If we had a well I'd push you into it."

"I have half a mind to get another lobotomy."

"An egg sits perfectly balanced on the apex of a roof, the wind blows south, which way does the egg fall? Down. The egg falls down."