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Joke of the Day
"A wizard walks into a gay bar.... ...and disappeared with a poof"
Next Joke
 
"My girlfriend has lost all feeling from her waist down.... what an insensitive cunt."
"All I said was, Even those starving kids in Africa wouldn't eat your cooking and my wifes foot became Mayor of my ass on Foursquare."
"My neighbours listen to good music Whether they want to or not"
"OMG I'M SO OLD AND OUT OF TOUCH WITH POP MUSIC WHAT SONG DOES BREXIT SING"
"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Some obscure number, you've probably never heard of it."
"You know how asparagus makes your pee smell? Well, I just heard from my father for the first time in 14 years."
"I tried phone sex once but the holes in the dial were too small."
"*tries to quietly check the football score during a home invasion"
"If Pluto isn't a planet because it's too small... then do you really have a penis?"