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Joke of the Day

"A CW pronounces both ""r""s in February, both ""d""s in Wednesday and has just told me the ""correct"" way to say segue. Please send weapons."

"Nintendo just announced the first haunted tower for Pokemon GO The New World Trade Center"

"Mother in law found me... On the twitter This will be converted into a pineapple upside down cake blog for the next 72 hours. I'm so sorry"

"After giving up crack, I've been sniffing brake fluid for months. It's okay - I can stop anytime I want."

"What's it called when an Arabic author releases their latest novel after dinner? Post-Hummus"

"She's not my fake internet girlfriend, she's my eBae."

"What did the plate say to the other plate? ""dinner's on me"""

"I am conducting a survey to see who is the most awesome person on Facebook. To find out who it is read the first two words of this status."

"Ordered a side of fries with my meal and the server forgot and they never came. I have been wronged before, but not like this. Not like this"

"Pokemon Go Run errands with your mom."