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Joke of the Day

"Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would too if you were named Aaaurrrraaaaggghh!"

"I remembered an unemployment joke... ...but then I realized that none of them work."

"My girlfriend might be a cheater.. She's taking a trip to Bang-cock!!"

"Mickey Mouse's lawyer calls... ...And tells him, ""Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because shes 'crazy'"" and Mickey responds, ""I didn't say she was crazy, i said she was fucking goofy!"""

"What kind of juice does hitler drink? Concentrated juice."

"Knock Knock Who's there? You are (Directed by M night Shayamalan)"

"Some say the quickest way to mans heart is food. As an experienced heart surgeon, I disagree... It's sex."

"65 year old guy i work with came at me with this one the other day What does a 80 year old women taste like? Depends.."

"I would rather crush the shit out of the back of my shoes than bend over and put them on properly."

"My mom was in a horrible car accident on her way to pick up lunch today. It's really bad guys, I need your prayers. I'm so hungry."