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Joke of the Day

"Drugs and alcohol aren't the answer. Unless the question is why did you shit on the sidewalk last night?"

"There are 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree murders, but why are there no 90th degree murders? Because murder is not right"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? Nobody wants a garbanzo bean on their face....ha!"

"I want someone to push me up against the wall.. lean in.. and softly whisper... ""I'll do your housework for you"""

"The Old Testament is the historical record of the first time we Jews controlled the media."

"Why did Donald Trump cross the road? To grab some pussy."

"I just blew off some steam and it wouldn't even kiss me afterward."

"You seriously don't want hear my next Fibonacci joke. It's as bad as the previous two combined."

"ORAL SEX At this stage of our marriage, me and the wife only practice oral sex. Whenever we pass each other, we both say , 'fuck you.'"

"PATIENT: Since I got this new job my feet are killing me. DR DOG: What's your job? PATIENT: Mailman DR DOG: *chases him out of room barking*"