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Joke of the Day

"Just got back from my secret society meeting. I'm really pleased with next year's Golden Globe winners."

"Some of you talk more than my wife. The good news is I can just unfollow you instead of burying you in the back yard to shut you up."

"I'll never forget my grandfather's dying words... ""AAAAHHHH!"""

"Cows... What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef... What do you call a cow with one leg? Lean beef... What do you call a cow with two legs? A Texan..."

"What kind of ideas do blind people get? Brailleant ones. Sauce: Am blind."

"There sure are a lot of hot Canadian chicks on Twitter....if I knew Canadian, I would totally hit on them."

"Fred came home from his first day at school. ""Nothing exciting happened"" he told his mother ""Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her"""

"What's the quickest way to lose pounds? The UK National Lottery!"

"How is the porn industry different from every other career? It's the only job where you have to stay late if you come early."

"How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello? Konnichihuahua"