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Joke of the Day

"Just got back from my secret society meeting. I'm really pleased with next year's Golden Globe winners."

"Remember when I pissed off Apollo? Those were dark times."

"The Pun Contest There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, hoping that at least one of the puns would be a winner. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did"

"A Canadian man has found a dead mouse in his McDonalds coffee. They just don't seem to put the effort into those happy meal toys anymore."

"Son: ""Hey, Dad! Can I have $20 for a blow job?"" Dad: ""I don't know, son. Are you any good?"""

"The cops were called... to the local childcare because a kid was resisting a rest. 30 minutes later the cops were called back because of an apparent kid-napping."

"Can I homeless person a cigarette off someone"

"My wife asked for the broom... And I said, ""Why? Are you going somewhere?"""

"What do you call a vampire in a raincoat ? Mack-u-la !"

"I know my Valentines day will be full of garbage... ...because I'll get dumped anyway."