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Joke of the Day

"My 7 yr. old thought it would be really funny to hold up a sign in the back window of the car that said ""HELP ME!"". It was not."

"I got into an accident a few days ago. The doctor said the bleeding was all internal. I said ""oh, thank god."" The doctor said ""why are you so happy?"" I said ""that's where the blood is supposed to be!"""

"Really?? EVERYBODY was Kung Fu fighting? Seems kind of implausible..."

"What's worse than a white guy walking into a church andshooting 9 black people? He let the others get away... I feel I'll be downvoted to hell for this..."

"did you hear about the flying German pancakes in WW2? they were in the luftwaffle!"

"Have you seen www.square.com? No I haven't got around to it."

"I work at my stepfather's store. You think your boss is an asshole? Mine fucks my mom. - Cole Y."

"What do you call a Rhinoceros in heat? Horny."

"Every time I get a birthday card with money in it, I pretend not to notice the money and ""read"" the card."

"(Halloween Costume Shop) ME: *leaving after not finding anything* CASHIER: *pointing to my face* Those masks aren't free, buddy."