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Joke of the Day

"I refuse to be an organ donor. Mainly because I'd like to be a fully-functional zombie if I rise for the apocalypse."

"I'm shocked that not one dairy farmer in Israel has thought to call his company ""Cheeses of Nazareth""!"

"I once saw a midget goalie play 10 consecutive games in a row. After the games I asked if he was sore, and he said ""I'm a little tender""."

"What do cubs fans do after they win the world series? They turn off their Xbox."

"How do you make Polish sausage ? First you gotta find a retarded pig..."

"Why does the Catholic Church protect paedophiles? Because the last time they shunned a child molester, he started Islam."

"When someone asks how I feel, I always answer ""Squishy and like I've done something wrong"""

"Asked my magic 8 ball if I should turn my lights off or not... It said ""ON"""

"Jewish joke! What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza won't scream when you put it in the oven."

"[Penn and Teller getting a loan for their comedy act] ""Ok all you guys need is a name"" *they look around bank for ideas*"