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Joke of the Day

"What's a Call of Duty player's favorite social media website? Fazebook"

"How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters? All tongue-in-groove, with no studs."

"Somebody cut me off on the highway today during a rainstorm, and started hydroplaning in front of me. I was cross with them at first, but then I just let it slide."

"What does a clever sentry on guard duty say when he wakes up to see his commanding officer standing over him? Amen"

"I just ran over a tree, a 5'2"" blonde screaming tree with a purse."

"What was Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite snack? Chopped dates."

"I read an article about the dangers of drinking and it scared the crap out of me... ...so I decided to swear off reading."

"What do you call a fish that's worth a lot of money? A goldfish!"

"I stopped a girl from getting raped last week It wasn't very hard. I just stopped chasing her."

"What do you someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows!"