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Joke of the Day

"I read an article about the dangers of drinking and it scared the crap out of me... ...so I decided to swear off reading."

"I'm the most anti-social person I know"

"What's the worst thing about being drunk? Ask a glass of water."

"World's most Ridiculous alarm clock http://youtu.be/cHHHpbVJiOE"

"Movie theaters do not explicitly prohibit saxophones during showtime so feel free to play your saxophones during showtime"

"Condom bursts are like Hillary Clinton's e-mails. You can try to neclect it, but everybody knows it's yours."

"museum guide: america was founded on july 4, 1776 me: [nodding sagely] ah yes so its a Cancer. this explains everythig"

"Why can a Cheetah not hide? Because it's always spotted."

"It's too human to go outside."

"Do not open is the most annoying clickbait title."