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Joke of the Day
"Damn you E Cards! Your making it too easy to share my stolen status'!"
Next Joke
"*pretends to throw a ball and my dog chases after it* haha idiot *checks email* holy shit i won a million dollars??"
"Ignorance may be bliss, but knowing that you're smarter than somebody feels pretty good, too."
"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"
"""Nobody move!"" - 19th century photographer"
"What do you call four mexicans in quick sand? Quatro, cinco."
"So a train runs over a woman... A train runs over a woman... Who's fault is it? The train driver's because he was driving through the kitchen."
"I'll never join one of those dating sites. I prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way. By alcohol & bad decisions."
"Moses talking to a burning bush was child's play ...compared to the miracle of getting a hundred thousand Jews to voluntarily go in to the Red ~~sea~~."
"What did the physicist say when his wife wanted to go jewelery shopping? ""I don't have the energy for this."""