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Joke of the Day

"Passive aggressive has never been my thing, I prefer chasing you with a chainsaw."

"Recently I felt Funny and came over Queasy... At which point I was told to leave the local theatre adaption of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."

"What do you call a college scholarship for a black guy? all of them."

"""Dad, did you know in some countries men don't know their wives till after they get married?"" ""Um, it's like that in every country, son."""

"What did one sausage say to the other? You are the wurst."

"If you feed your kitten Muscle Milk it will become a tiger in as little as 90 days or you get your money back."

"i need to stop imagining scenarios in my head that have a -2% chance of actually happening it's becoming a problem"

"How many Astros fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Both of them."

"Two jews walk into a bar Jk lol I'm a Fukien nazi"

"[sexting] HER: ok well i think we're done here lol ME: it's bc i used 'betwixt' isn't it? [typing ellipses for a solid minute] HER: yes"