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Joke of the Day
"Have you heard of the pelican? It's bill fits more than its belly can"
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"The Dutch have invented a continuously-airborne plane. It never lands."
"If a deaf kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?"
"What instrument did Bill Clinton play? That whore Monica."
"If by mathematician you mean dividing the number of snacks in my car by the number of miles I need to drive, then yes, I'm a mathematician."
"I just got a job helping a one arm typist do capital letters. It's shift work."
"Growing up in Canada, Taco Bell commercials were surprisingly different. At the end of each ad, they sang: ""Make a run...for the border. And then the next border."""
"the smiley face :) emoticon was invemted becuase, for som reason, peopel are no longer comfortabel with using the words ""i am happy"""
"My dentist just looked in my mouth and said something is gonna have to come out. I suspect he's talking about my wallet."
"2 muffins sitting in the oven. First one says ""Damn it's hot in here"". Second one says ""Oh shit! A talking muffin""."