149611

Joke of the Day

"Bucket list: 1. Don't die."

"They say you're not supposed to go to the grocery store when you're hungry. It's been several days now, what should I do?"

"The only entities which will survive a nuclear holocaust will be the c**kroaches and a book packed by Flipkart."

"My dad caught me smoking his cigarettes... He beat me until I was white and gold."

"I put my phone in airplane mode. Worst. Transformer. Ever."

"Why did the computer split up with the programming language. Because 1 or more arguments were invalid!"

"I invented a game where people get so stoned they can barely walk & chase each other around the yard. It's called...wait for it: Hash Tag."

"[CSI at Starbucks] ""Ma'am you've been robbed. Suspect is at large."" Barista: At what? ""At large"" At what? ""At venti?"" OMG HOW AWFUL!!!"

"Don't go to a fight with a gun or a knife, Bubblewrap yourself, People won't fight when there's bubblewrap"

"What is Putin to Ukraina, a friend or a brother ? A brother, because you can choose your friends."