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Joke of the Day

"I didn't spend years perfecting this blank, vacant expression so you could mistake me for someone who cares, lady..."

"While there's a motherboard, why isn't there a fatherboard? Well I don't know, but I do know my professor recently installed a new blackboard, hopefully he'll use that to explain the answer."

"Do you ever smoke after sex? I don't know, I never look."

"I like my men like I like my grapes. Me:- I like my men like I like my grapes Friend:- Big and black? Me:- no, 16 at a time."

"What do you call an ""Asian"" that loves using moisturizer? Laotian."

"Put a load in the dishwasher last night She was mad I didn't pull out."

"There's no place like home. (to poop)"

"Why did Willow Smith whip her hair? Because it has been very knotty. Apologies in advance"

"A hunter brings a bear into his own home. His friend asks if he's crazy, and the hunter responds ""Just bear with me"""

"If you show me an Italian assembly line... I'll show you a well oiled machine."