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Joke of the Day

"NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN Nobody teaches Volcanoes to erupt, Tsunamis to devastate, Hurricanes to sway around & no one teaches How to choose a Wife, NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN."

"Arguing with your parents is like trying to explain how to download music from iTunes to a plant."

"Dating Profile Sex: Probably Favorite Food: Yes Favorite Movie: Star Wars Favorite Book: LOLZ"

"*intermittently glances at phone while placing order for 6 burritos so the Chipotle lady thinks they're for multiple people*"

"If a murderous killing machine came back from the future.. And calculated all matrices. Would he be the Determinator?"

"Where did the one legged waitress work? IHOP"

"I have a doorbell chime for text messages. I just checked my door twice. I don't have a doorbell. Line up boys. This kinda genius is rare."

"What did the Eskimo say to his wife when she suggested a threesome? ""I'm Inuit."" Credit goes to R. Ebeltoft."

"""Say, farmer....."" Traveling Salesman: ""Say, farmer, where does that road go to?"" Farmer: ""Well, I lived here all my life, it ain't gone nowhere yet."""

"Hillary and Donald are just like Joker and Harley Quinn... A multi billion dollar industry is going out of their ways to make them look like good guys"