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Joke of the Day

"If you Say the word ""murder"" over and over again out loud, it starts to sound really weird and everyone in this starbucks will stare at you."

"Is there anything less intimidating than a cop on a bicycle? Wobble on, agent of justice, wobble on."

"What do the Superbowl and the OJ Simpson Saga have in common? They both feature a slow, old, white bronco."

"I was the kid your mom made you invite to your birthday party who then started crying and had to be picked up early."

"What did one orphan say to another? Get in the Batmobile Robin."

"Why do people starve? When food tastes so good."

"My kid threatened to hold her breath until I gave her dessert. Now she's a pearl diver in the Philippines & can afford her own damn dessert."

"There's a Little House On The Prairie film in the works, in case any of you are looking to take a two-hour nap in a theatre next year."

"Roses are red, Violets are blue... Pornhub is down, your facebook will do ( )"

"Helen Keller walks into a bar.... And then a table. And then a chair. Another table...."